(or night out)
I have been a mom for 10 years. A decade. I, like most of you have shed blood, sweat and tears over these precious babies. I love them so damn much. There aren’t words. Little tears pop out when I think about it too much. How lucky I am to be their mom. Sometimes tears pop out if I think about how many days and hours I spend wiping asses, floors, and cabinet doors. Don’t think for a minute I don’t know some day my heart will ache when they quit making these messes and they don’t crawl into my bed to hug me before sun comes up. I already know it will. I miss the little chubby babies they once were and the silly toddlers and soon I’ll mis this age right now. That hurts too, and it’s hard to live in the now and have the 20/20 vision that only comes with looking in the rearview.
I’m in the thick of it. It’s the filling of a donut. First bite is just the dry dough, no pudding, but then you find it. Its heavy and sweet and you think it lasts forever, but it doesn’t and pretty soon you’ve eaten it all and you are back to the dry donut you had at the very beginning.
I’m going to tell you right now. I can’t end up a dry donut butt with no pudding. I can’t only enjoy the middle. I WON’T. I REFUSE. I will love every damn moment of this motherhood…. But I don’t need to be here with my kids 24/7 to be a good mama who loves her kids and neither do you. You were someone before and you will be someone after. You do not have to wait though, YOU CAN BE SOMEONE IN THE MIDDLE YEARS. Is it harder to make happen? YES of course it is, but it’s not impossible.
Last weekend I took one night- 24 hours off from being a mom, a wife, a house manager, a taxi driver and even from my new gig-half assed-housewife (kidding but…). I didn’t go anywhere spectacular or over the top, but trust me when I say I can have a REAL good time anywhere. My friend has a lake house and we usually go for one night in the winter. It’s a few hours away and I love riding in the car, getting ready together, getting midnight snacks at the gas station. It takes me back to being in my early 20’s and I love it! I’ve taken all kinds of girls trips with ALL sorts of people and it doesn’t matter if they are expensive and somewhere warm or just one night out-they are all an escape from the daily grind. We all deserve time away from the regular scheduled programming once in a while.
Do you take time off for yourself and your girlfriends or even a solo trip or night away? Yes? Great! Keep it up because it’s important for your sanity. One of my biggest mom goals is to NOT star in my own Lifetime Movie and this is one of the things I do to try to keep the streak going.
If you are the type of girl who just CAN. NOT. LEAVE. THE. KIDS. well, keep reading because here are my top 10 reasons to seal the deal that you are doing the right thing for yourself.
TOP 10 reasons to SKIP the Girls TRIP/ Nights Off From Your Kids:
- Your kids would find out there is more than one way to put them to bed at night.
- Your spouse might do all of the things you’ve been thinking you wish he would, but you can’t quit doing all of them because you want them done “right”. What would you have to complain about then?
- You don’t want to experience the bear hug from your whole family when they missed you even if it was “just one night”.
- Your kids would appreciate you even more after realizing how much you do for them in your absence.
- You can’t. You just can’t. It will be social suicide. What would you have to complain about with Gina, your BFF who also never leaves her kids? You would be on the losing side of the battle of who gets less time away from being a mom.
- You will DEFINITELY get kicked out of your Facebook group “Martyr Moms” when someone tags you in pictures in a bikini cannon balling into a pool.
- You will avoid the euphoria and peace that comes from taking an actual break from regular life.
- You would have to start over at day one when you are competing for who hasn’t had a night out in the longest with your spouse.
- You are saving your kids from finding out that you have friends besides them and you actually enjoy doing something besides changing diapers, taxi driving kids to practices and vacuuming the floor. They could even find out what’s under your mom bun-Thank god you aren’t going to let your hair down!
- You won’t have to make memories, cry laughing over old ones, eat a ton of junk food, maybe drink a few drinks or fountain sodas, burn your tongue on frozen pizzas and dance to your favorite rap songs at a dive bar before crashing in a bed without any short people showing up.
All jokes aside, I hope all of you mamas realize how important you are.
I hope you know that if no one tells you how hard your job is- I see you and I know you are doing your best.
We all are doing our best with what we have and where we are now. I won’t babysit your kids for you-I’m not THAT nice, but I will have you back if that side-eyed mom from school is talking smack about you.
Make sure you are taking care of yourself. Make sure you are taking a break. You can’t do it all and you don’t NEED to do it all. These babies are watching. These little girls are seeing how they should treat themselves by looking at us.
This mom job doesn’t come with paid time off, so you have to MAKE it happen. You won’t regret it, I promise. Unfortunately, no one is going to step in and say “sweetie you are about 3 weeks from having a 2 year old meltdown at the grocery store, it’s time you schedule a break for yourself”.
If you saw my Instagram stories this week, then you know what I’m talking about when I say you might even have fun with a $3 pretend turd from a roadside gas station! Dream big my friends!
Keep reaching for the stars and enjoy the long weekend with your family or friends!
P.S. I know someone will message me and tell me that they don’t want to go out with friends, they don’t want to be away from their family/kids/spouse/hot mess house. Okay that’s great, but you are an outlier. This message isn’t for you. (see big red X in the corner of the browser window.) It’s for the women who feel guilty or have a hard time doing something they WANT to do for themselves!