Happy New Year!
I love this time of year! I get really tired the last few days of winter break, I’m sure none of you can relate LOL. My whole family needs rest and relaxing. It’s the best few days we spend together. We have nothing to do, no where to go, no where to be. Did I shower? Did I put on real clothes? Probably not.
2019 was a good year for the Palmers, but also a pretty exhausting one. All good things, but I’m glad it’s over none the less. It was probably the most demanding year for my husband’s job that we have ever had, which has the trickle down effect on myself and the girls. He traveled A LOT. It does, however, make me thankful for our little family, our traditions and the time we have together. We had some great things happen this year too, but I’m ready for the next episode.
I always take the first few weeks of January to re-evaluate our lives, commitments, systems, and the flow of our home. The kids have gone back to school and we have almost recovered from the aftermath of the holidays. (still have to put all of my holiday trees away.) Every single year I get better and better at getting rid of mental, physical and scheduling clutter (aka shit we don’t need, need to be doing or need to be thinking we need to be doing!) I don’t really do resolutions, but I am a planner so I do get intentional about what I’m doing in the next year and how I’m going to make it happen.
I have done a lot of methods to get all of my goals and “to-dos” down on paper. This year I bought the Power Sheets Goal Planner by Cultivate what matters. Its a pretty intense in depth goal planner. I have been working on filling it out the last few weeks. I’m excited to see if it is motivational for me! If anyone has used it in the past I would love to hear your thoughts.
If you know me personally, you know I’ve dabbled in a few businesses, careers, been a full time SAHM (stay at home mom), been a work from home/stay at home mom, part-time volunteer, substitute teacher, student and pretty much everything in-between.
I’m going to go out on a limb here being super vulnerable and not the kind from the bachelor when you get out of the limo and have to come up with some weird stunt. I am really good at a lot of pieces of my life, but this part is something I struggle with. I have SO. DANG. MANY. interests and things I LOVE to do, that I want to learn more about. It’s really hard for me to do one thing. I get excited and I lose focus. Before I had kids and even when I was a teenager I always had multiple jobs. I loved it. I love working and I love changes of pace.
I have, however, been a hair stylist for about 14 years. It has been such a great gig, especially when my kids were little. I could make my own schedule and work super part time. Back story-I moved to the St. Louis area about 10 years ago, 9 months pregnant and didn’t know a soul. I found a moms group and doing hair again just fell into my lap. A handful of the women used the same stylist and she was moving to Brazil of all things. I ended up meeting great friends and clients that I love dearly. I worked at a salon one day a week to keep my license after I had Alaire and then put a salon into my house soon after we bought it in 2011. It was super convenient but after about 8 years I got tired of the house traffic and I became a little neurotic about the hair in my house. It was hard to work when my husband traveled and my kids were home for the summers. They needed me and it became more work than it was worth. I opened a studio salon for a few years in there somewhere and then I ended up renting a space 2 days a week most currently. It’s the best place. The owner is amazing. The studio and the rental were my happy places doing hair.
I love it so much, but over the years I have gone back and forth on whether or not this is what I should be doing. I also developed severe eczema on my hands when I started doing hair. (Not to be rude, but I’ll be blunt, please spare me cures for it. I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING. Western medicine and homeopathic, food sensitivities, outdoor allergies, skin testing, you freaking name it- I have done it. I’ve seen every dermatologist, allergist and witch doctor this side of the Mississippi.) I have had eczema, have my whole life, maybe always will, but hair color BLOWS IT UP! Bad, like REAL BAD. I can maintain it pretty well and I know what triggers it but the chemicals just do it wrong.
Okay I went off on a tangent. The point is, I have been doing a lot of thinking about what I really want to be doing (I’ve actually been STRUGGLING with this for years) I think I know what it is that I want to be doing, but I’ve been scared to dive in and go for it. I was reading something once about this subject and the author was describing being scared to fail. I read it to Drew and he assured me I am NOT scared to fail but scared to succeed… HOLY SHIT he’s right I am. So dumb but it has some truth. What is it that I want to do then? It’s not one thing. It’s not a 9-5. It isn’t what everyone else is doing. It might be misunderstood or criticized by people who don’t get it. (okay that made it sounds like its something weird-LOL its not) That’s okay they don’t have to live my life. As annoying and frustrating as my hopping around has been for me at times and probably for my husband, I have really enjoyed the last decade with my babies and the time to work through this career path thing I’ve been doing.
So flash forward…
A few weeks ago, my husband got a new job that he’s been working his butt off to get for years. I am so proud of him. He deserves it. Because we’ve known he would apply for this job, we’ve also been in a little bit of life limbo. We bought a house 8 years ago, but for the last 3-4 years, we have thought we might not permanently live here. There have been possible opportunities I have put on hold and things we haven’t done because “if we move”. I feel like for the last 2 years that’s always in the back of my mind. When he got the job we requested to move to Minneapolis. It got denied. I won’t lie, I was disappointed. I was slightly relieved too. I was torn on which would be better.
Moving back would mean closer to some family and in a city I love, but we are established here in St.Louis and we are happy to be here too. I tell myself I can be happy anywhere. It’s true! Plus my kids might die with the weather. They are 100% STL people.
So what’s the point of telling you all of this? It leads me to what I want to say. I am officially stepping back from the chair. I won’t be doing hair anymore in the salon. I will miss my clients dearly. The good thing is most of them are friends. I will set them up with a wonderful stylist that will take the best care of them!
What am I going to do then you ask? Oh you didn’t ask? LOL Sorry I’m going to tell you anyway. I am going to work full time on my blog. I have a lot of ideas and plans for it and I’m excited to go all in. Yup, another suburban mom with an outlet and an insta account. If you saw my first Outfit of the Day on Instagram stories a few weeks ago, then you understand why I feel confident with moving forward with this decision.(kidding!). Now, if you are done rolling your eyes and exhaling for all to hear…
I’m now going to get cheesy and I’m glad I don’t have to look you in the eyes to say this because I’d start laughing or get embarrassed and run off stage. (I actually did that once on NYE at a piano bar LOL… ask Drew.. he makes fun of me at least once a week for it.) This has been on my heart for A LONG time. My gifts are being sat on. I’m not doing what I’m best at or what gives me life. I have done a lot of work to get here. This didn’t happen overnight. Maybe I wasted a shitload of time and resources, but here I am. Maybe you don’t get it. Maybe you grew up wanting to be one thing and went to school graduated and are doing that career. I’m happy for you! Sometimes I wish I was wired that way… but I’m not. I have tried and failed- a lot. If you made it this far, thank you. For being supportive, curious, nosey, a friend- whatever your reason. I hope that you will follow along with me on whatever it is this is going to be.
2020 is already off to a great start. I have a lot of goals mapped out. Some of them are calling a friend or planning to see people that I’ve been meaning to visit and some are big and exciting like gutting my bathroom. (That’s exciting for me! LOL)
So back to that, do you goal plan or have resolutions? Do you check back in later in the year to see if you’ve done them? I haven’t always, but I have been the last few years and it has worked really well! I’ll have to share some awesome ways to brain dump all of your goals and habits you want to add into your life sometime.
This blog post. This decision. These are two goals I just checked off my list! Thanks for reading/listening/being my therapist. Send me your address I owe you $150 check.
Keep reaching for the stars!